Let me begin by stating I’ve never claimed to be the sharpest crayon in the box or have the patience of an angel!

Cooking on a hotplate has been a life’s lesson at best, I feel confident I won’t starve to death if now left alone with just that to survive. I missed good baked food, so opted to purchase a toaster oven this semester.

Last night Kelly, Katie, Thomas and I headed to the Tai Hua to purchase one. We’d compared prices in a few stores and settled on the Y270 medium size one at Fresco. Between the three of us we are getting great at charades, mad-gab and correct assumptions when it comes to deciphering Chinese. We purchased the oven then completed the grocery shopping.

Isn't she a beauty? I can just smell the brownies and bread already!

Kelly and I headed home with great anticipation! I was set on toast, my first real slice of toast since arriving in China. We got home and set it up. It looks beautiful in our kitchen by the way but then again I’m bias. I put in two slices and set the time with the temp at 100*. I went to the living room to put in a movie and after 2mins returned to disappointment. The oven wasn’t even warm and the toast was still white!

 Humph I’ll fix that, I crank up the oven to 250*C and turn the timer to 20min. I know, I know, well I know now that was a little extreme. I went to watch the episode and planned on checking it in a few mins. What can I say a great TV show? I soon smelt the toast, thanks to Mom’s excellent cooking lessons I knew if you could smell it it was done. I guess I should rethink that strategy for meals cooked in a closed kitchen and you smelling it in a closed living room.

The washing machine was in use which meant the tap was occupied, luckily there were some water filled bowls in the sink to dowse the smoking toast.

I jumped off the couch and ran to the kitchen to find smoke BILLOWING from the oven. No joke. Can I just say how grateful I am there are no smoke detectors in China. That would have been embarrassing and since it was night when I opened the kitchen window the smoke exiting wasn’t that noticeable.

After assessing the situation I unplug the oven, cracked the door and opened the window, a few mins later I turned on the stove vent. Yes I realized there was a more effective order but eventually the smoke decreased enough for me to stick a fork in a get the lumps of coal, that were originally slices of bread, and toss them in the sink. The smoke was so thick my eyes were stinging which did not help the process at all. Kelly was closed up in the office an oblivious to all the proceedings.

This was after about 10min

It took about 20min for all the smoke to finally clear and the smell to somewhat subside. For the few, Katie and Thomas to be exact, who know the funky smell* my apartment usually has, at least burnt toast is a welcome respite. See, there is always a positive side to be found.

 I think I can safely add yet another means to get my self killed in China, Toaster Oven. As if my poor street crossing skills weren’t sure enough.

*The smell is not of my doing, it was here before I moved in, goodness knows how I’ve tried to dispel it.

So I’ve debated typing this post but I might as well get it out in the open, once I tell a few people its going to get out there anyway and blown out of proportion so I might as well get my side out….

Goodness knows I could count the dates I’ve been on, on one hand but could someone please define what qualifies as a date because I think I accidentally went on one with a complete stranger I met on the train.

I got home from Weihai at 11:30, cleaned up, packed up and headed to Qingdao by 5. I purchased a ticket last min and hoped for the best. There was a huge line at the gate already so stupidly I went and stood in it. Why, I don’t know after five months in China you would think I’d wised up by now. Mom please skip the following paragraph.

I stood in line and then they open the gate. Here is where my stupidity comes in. Lines mean nothing in China, as soon as the gate opened the line turned into a mob. Forgive the expression but there is just no other way to explain it. You feel like you are back in the birthing canal. I’ve learned to throw a mean elbow while here and being a foreigner and a head taller than everyone else it tends to work quite well. But today that wasn’t even helpful. I’ve never been pressed so bad in my life. Never understood the concept of stampede until today. I finally gave up struggling and just let the crowd push me. Some lady’s carry on caught the back of my legs but luckily the crowd kept me upright as she pulled forward.

Anyway I finally made it to the platform relatively unscathed and headed for my car. As if going through birth for a second time wasn’t bad enough I soon realized there was no seat to be found on the train. Great, two hours to Qingdao and I get the aisle. Okay truth be told I had a second option, smoker ally between cars. I figured relatively smoke free air standing in the aisle getting hit with a food trolley every 15min was better. I found a bench to rest against, turned on my kindle, put in my head phones and zoned out as best as possible. I did notice the decent looking guy standing next to me but kept my scowl to myself as the the trolley and I danced each time it past.

An hour into the ride a kind gentleman offered and held his seat for me when he disembarked. The guy who had been standing next to me soon found a seat across the aisle. He leaned over and began asking about my Kindle. His English was definitely not the best I’ve encountered but he was nice, okay sweet. The fact he said he read Plato gave him major points. Before I knew it he was asking me to coffee. I didn’t know what to say so I tried to mumble under my breath, as his English was not great he  took it as an affirmative and started suggesting places.

I figured I would lose him once I got to the station, but he helped get my backpack off the rack and insisted on carrying it for me. (It was only after did I realize how bad that could have gone if he had decided to run, Passport and Y2,000 bad.) Him having my bag and all I decided not to lose him. We caught the 304, he insisted on paying my fare, and headed into town. We decided on Coffee Spark as it was located on both our bus routes. On the bus he began helping me with Chinese. A few points in his favor. One, his is one of the first Chinese people who have actually wanted to help me learn Chinese rather than just wanting to speak and learn English. Two, when teaching me Chinese he actually spoke slowly and clearly, repeating words often, wow what a concept when teaching someone a language. (In China like many places people often think it is the volume that makes foreign words magically become understandable.) Lastly, he encouraged learning Chinese Characters as he feels it is a vital component of learning Chinese.

Now before you flip out and think I’ve completely lost my senses, I did text Victoria and let her know the change in plans. I also asked for a bailout call come 8:15 if wasn’t on the bus to the University yet. My Chinese lesson was going so well we missed our stop, but he had a contingency plan apparently. He quickly suggested another place that was just two stops further. We went to Starbucks and I ordered a Hot Chocolate, after a brief argument over the bill he said something curt in Mandarin to the cashier and she refused to take my money. He ordered two and found a table.

We sat and conversed for about 45min before I had to head out. Between his minimal English and my non-existent Chinese I was surprised the conversation lasted as long as it did. It did come to an interesting point when I finally asked for his name. Okay yes one would think before we got to Starbucks names would have been established but in China names are just tricky. Family names go first, then first name. To top it off you refer to new acquaintances by their family name. His name is Hu pronounced ‘who’. When he asked for mine I of course gave him Kayte, he was a little taken back and asked if he should call me Miss. That was a definite NO! Names got squared away and numbers exchanged. I was soon on my way to Victoria’s before the designated bailout time.

Overall the evening was fun. Most definitely not a usual evening for me but if China has taught me one thing it is taken every opportunity thrown at you.

So back to the original question, if he asked, escorted to and paid for everything was it considered a date? If so I guess I just went on my first Chinese date. Oh and for all those wondering he is barely my height but hey he’s not shorter!

About a month into this excursion I realized there were going to be plenty of moments where no words would capture my feelings. That’s when I discovered the phrase “Welcome to China”, mind you your arms must be thrown up into the air and your head shaken to get the full effect. This is the closest I’ve come to expressing my feelings.

Since I’ve discovered this line I have used it on numerous occasions to which all westerns have agreed. A child tinkling on the bus while the mother holds his legs spread eagle, “Welcome to China.” Afternoon planes never being less than 2hours delayed, “Welcome to China.” Class is canceled tomorrow (from your students but not a word from administration), “Welcome to China.” Shall I continue, okay you get the picture.

The truth, I’m getting sick of this phrase but it seems to be the only thing keeping me from insanity. I know common sense and culture is unique to each country and I know “West is not always Best”. I wouldn’t dream of forcing American ways on anyone but really basic human nature people? Anyone?

It is interesting to note that at lunch today Bonnie, Katie and I had a rather surprising conversation on the effect of propaganda here. After so long you just stop resisting. Scary, but true.

I seem to only add to my near death experiences here. Normally I do not consider myself absentminded or stupid but as of late there is really no other way to describe myself.

Walking anywhere is dangerous here as cars can and do drive anywhere they please. There are really no designated sidewalks and walking to the front gate can be a Frogger level at times. Just last week as I was headed out for the evening I was making my way around the round about at the front gate when a car approached from behind. Do I go left or do I go right? I choose the wrong direction I went left and so did the car. The sound of the brakes reverberated in my ears until I was  sitting safely on the bus.

Embarrassing as it is to admit that was not my first close call with a moving vehicle, not by a long shot. Although it was a step down from the buses I’ve walked in front of here.

Thank Heaven for safety shutoffs.

I don't think this is a good thing...

Adam and Dantzelle have left Weifang. I am left alone at the school. My circle of Western friends has begun to shrink. Over the next month and a half that circle will continue to shrink. I cling to two rays of sunshine, I will always have Katie and Thomas across town and Kelly will join me in the Spring!

I can hardly believe it is already December, and half way through at that. I feel like I got here last month some days, others I feel the 3 months 2 weeks 5 days and 15hours. I am so grateful I had the opportunity to meet Adam and Dantzelle and all their help in adjusting to life in China. I think it safe and only honest to admit I couldn’t have adjusted so quickly without them. I will feel their absence but am grateful for their time.

Best of luck you two, with all your future travels. The memories we’ve shared will always be dear and thank goodness when all else fails I can call you when I need someone to understand life in China.

Tonight is the Branch Christmas Party, there will be a White Elephant* gift exchange. I’ve always disliked White Elephant exchanges as I am terrible at selecting a gift. I think the games is fun and I love participating but my gift is always so unoriginal.

This year I finally did it!! I got the best gift.

The White Elephant gift of White Elephant gifts in my opinion.

The mismatched, pieced together, furry toilet seat warmer.  And for the novice or those who can’t figure out how to get this thing on the toilet I found the instructions while wrapping.

Even the foreigner can follow the pictures.

So I can proudly attend the Christmas Party armed with this gift. Hehehe

*White Elephant is a party game where each guest brings a small gag gift to be exchanged in unique or random fashion. Traditionally people try to bring a random item that will get a good laugh.

If I didn’t know with certainty that the Chinese are incapable of subtle hints my first Christmas present would have offended me. Two students dropped by for photos Friday afternoon. I’m really quite touched my students want to take pictures, they don’t seem to want to pay attention or participate in class. But hey the Chinese will never miss a photo sho0t, which is what “Can I come to your apartment for a quick picture” really means.

By now I know the drill. The standing half hug with the victory sign, then the stoic face, then the sitting leaning, then we get all crazy and take pictures all over my living room (the backgrounds varying, the nativity and scrolls seem to be the biggest hits). They always come bearing gifts, usually oranges, crackers or the occasional  bracelet. Today’s was a shocker. It was a Christmas gift Lucy said as she knew Christmas was coming soon. I was touched, my first Christmas gift of the season!

I really hope my face didn’t give away my taken back feelings.

I’ve stopped wearing make-up as of late because well I’m just lazy and really who am I trying to impress around here? My first thought was she was trying to make a statement but that was very very wrong of me. Lucy would never, could never make such a statement, wish I could say the same for some of her classmates. I was debating to pick up a new blush so now I’m good.

So Merry Christmas to all!

Okay I just realized how long this was, I needed to vent. Sorry, I obviously got carried away

Ahhh! I’m still cooling down.  A 45min bus ride turned into a two hour ping-pong game! We were suppose to have one last shrimp fry before Adam and Dantzelle took off. Okay so the journey started at 5:20 I decided to go ahead of Adam and Dantzelle as I didn’t want to sit around until Dantz finished classes. I was half way to Jusco (supermarket) when I realized I didn’t grab the money I had laid out, crap okay just skimp at the store.

I was trying to get ingredients for Easy Almond Roca for the Christmas Party this weekend. I needed to use Katie and Thomas’s toaster oven so couldn’t put shopping off. Chocolate is so dang expensive here. Don’t even try finding chocolate chips so I settled on a Y20 Dove bar got the rest and tried to find a bus direct to the University, this is were all my troubles began.

I should have just walked the extra two blocks and grabbed the 16 but no I wanted to be lazy. I called Katie and she told me the 52 would work but I would have to transfer to the 16 once I got to DongFong Lu, okay I can do that. Well obviously not. As warned the bus went down shady back allies but got back on a main road headed east. I thought it was the wrong street but I noticed that the 16 ran parallel so I jumped off, NEVER CHANGE your answer. That was something I learned in Elementary always go with the first answer second guessing is ALWAYS wrong.

I got off and tried my hand at characters. I knew the characters for South Gate (南门) found the stop four away and waited for the bus. Mind you I take full responsibility for the following adventure but the Chinese sure are not helpful when it comes to directions! Let me lay out what I know, Katie and Thomas work at Weifang University which in Chinese would be Weifang Daxue. They live outside the South Gate which is Nan men. Okay so logically put the two together and you get their stop right?!? Well the bus stop sign had a stop that read Nan men, I assumed (yes I know what assuming means) as Weifang University was a big place in town they were just dealing with gates. I hopped on the bus and asked the Driver Weifang Daxue nan men. He said no and point across the street to the opposite bus stop. The 16’s are tricky here there are two 16 routes both will eventually pass the University South Gate.

That is when I should have gone with my first answer yet again. I knew which direction I wanted to go. So why I was letting someone direct me differently when there was obviously a language barrier is right up there with getting in that cab with a stranger. I crossed the street and looked at the board again okay, I’ll give the driver this much to get to the stop marked Nan men I needed the opposite side of the road but turns out I was reading the wrong stop. I figured this out 15 min later when I realized I was back on the street I started on, back at Jusco. My heart sank, I called Katie to figure out what had happened, that’s when I found out all though it is a University they don’t call it Daxue it is Xueyuan or College! What the heck! So the bus stop I needed was on the original side labeled, Weifang Xueyuan Nan men. What I can’t figure out is why the driver didn’t catch my drift when I said University (Daxue). Daxue Nan men should at least indicate I want to go to a school. Turns out Nan men bus stop is a shopping mall. COME ON PEOPLE work with the foreigner here please!!!!!

I get off cross the street and broad yet another bus. This one was the right one I knew for sure as it was the bus stop I should have just walked to in the first place! By then I was completely exasperated with the whole situation but mostly at myself as I should have just gone with my first instinct.

I’ve come to realize I can gauge my mood by the volume level on my Zune. It is normally at about 6 while riding a bus. By the time I made the final switch I was on 14. 20 is when I buy a ticket for the next plane out of China. Excessive today, yes, hormones aren’t helping anything. To top it all off I missed my stop as I was too absorbed in self pity. So what should have been a Y2 45min ride was Y4 2hour ping-pong game across Weifang. By the time I reached Katie and Thomas’s I was on 16 and then Katie asked for the bread crumbs I’d promised to pick up. Whoops, Katie is just to gracious she was on the ball with a substitution and not a hint of frustration.

So lesson learned always go with answer number one. NEVER EVER EVER change your answer.

I know this post might be coming out from left field for some but to catch you up to speed here is a post just recently finished but posted on a much much earlier date. http://blog.addingstamps.com/2009/10/i-think-the-world-is-coming-to-an-end/

As I continue my Children’s Oral English class I have begun falling in love with the students. I love them all but of course I have my favorites, Rose is just this bundle of joy who has a smile that could melt any Ice Queen, yes I’m the Ice Queen here, and then of course there is Gary. He is the youngest at 6 and the smallest 6 year-old I’ve ever seen. For a kid who’s missing his two front teeth he has great pronunciation and his reading skills are amazing.

Next is Ke Xin, she meets me at my apartment each evening and walks me to class. Half our walk is her correcting my Chinese and the other half is her giggling her way through prompted English questions from her mom. Margaret is 10 and is my co-teacher, at times translating where needed and encouraging the other students.

Oranges from YRC & a card from Ke Xin

I never thought I’d go by Miss Kayte but hey it beats Miss Reagan (not that I don’t love my last name, which I do greatly and don’t plan on giving it up in the next decade or anything) it is just so old sounding. My students have begun bringing little gifts to class which always make my day.

The gifts are always straight from the children’s hearts, a chocolate here and a little wrapped candy there. YRC’s little package was quite inventive. From the size of the package I thought he had confused the vocabulary. Upon opening the bag I was delightfully surprised. I’d heard about the tiny oranges but had not had the pleasure of trying them yet. They are quite delicious!

Juicy and sweet!