Wendy and Me!

Wendy and Peter took me out to dinner tonight to say goodbye, or rather see you later. Wendy knows how much I love trying to new food and promised to take me to a restaurant that specialized in Northern Cuisine. It was amazing! A back alley hole in the wall.

Bei Da Wang is down the same alley as our favorite soup place. I’ve always been too scared to go into an unrecommended restaurant as my ordering abilities are, well, non existent still. But this place has a picture menu!

Throughout the dinner I practiced Chinese with Wendy and Peter. I think I will have to make this a more regular occurrence as Peter is so encouraging!

Wendy suggested three traditional dishes that were phenomenal! The first a typical stir-fry with sugar peas, chicken, peppers and mushrooms.

Okay, I lucked out with location! I love northern food!

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The main dish didn’t have a specific name rather a list of ingredients. It was a soup of sorts served in a large wok that was kept heated during the dinner. Those are not marshmallows along the sides, but steamed rolls of sorts. The soup contained, spinach, peppers, peas, chicken, and potatoes. I really am falling in love with Chinese food. I just have to learn what to order.

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Chinese Mash Potatoes!

Last but not least on the menu for the evening was Chinese Mash Potatoes! Yes, y0u read that right, Chinese Mash Potatoes. They were delicious. I still can’t figure out what made them yellow rather than white but I’ve been told it was the potatoes used. It is chunky rather than smooth and the gravy is more of a caramel but it was delicious!

I’ve already decided this is where I want to go for my first dinner back. That is if it is still there. As we’ve sadly learned from our favorite wing place, what’s there one week can easily be gone the next.

A little history behind the name of the restaurant. The direct translation is  North Big Desolate , I think, Wendy was trying to describe the word ‘Desolate’. Anyway, it is the name of a location up north that was colonized by people from Shandong province that had been sent as part of a military campaign. The cuisine is a combination of North eastern traditions and Shandong dishes that evolved in this region.

Okay okay I know, I lied, sorry. I said I’d have my blog caught up before I left for Harbin but that just didn’t happen. I leave in an hour and lets face it I’m just too long winded to finish the 6 posts sitting in my draft box. So another week will pass before I can touch it.

If I don’t start catching up on Friday, I’ve frozen to death in the northern regions of China. So in the Spring thaws the frozen foreigner clutching the hot water bottle in the Red Michelin Man Jacket is me. Will someone please make sure my cremated remains make it back to the mantle in Tulare.

I’m not kidding, Harbin this week was in the -30*F.

So I’ve debated typing this post but I might as well get it out in the open, once I tell a few people its going to get out there anyway and blown out of proportion so I might as well get my side out….

Goodness knows I could count the dates I’ve been on, on one hand but could someone please define what qualifies as a date because I think I accidentally went on one with a complete stranger I met on the train.

I got home from Weihai at 11:30, cleaned up, packed up and headed to Qingdao by 5. I purchased a ticket last min and hoped for the best. There was a huge line at the gate already so stupidly I went and stood in it. Why, I don’t know after five months in China you would think I’d wised up by now. Mom please skip the following paragraph.

I stood in line and then they open the gate. Here is where my stupidity comes in. Lines mean nothing in China, as soon as the gate opened the line turned into a mob. Forgive the expression but there is just no other way to explain it. You feel like you are back in the birthing canal. I’ve learned to throw a mean elbow while here and being a foreigner and a head taller than everyone else it tends to work quite well. But today that wasn’t even helpful. I’ve never been pressed so bad in my life. Never understood the concept of stampede until today. I finally gave up struggling and just let the crowd push me. Some lady’s carry on caught the back of my legs but luckily the crowd kept me upright as she pulled forward.

Anyway I finally made it to the platform relatively unscathed and headed for my car. As if going through birth for a second time wasn’t bad enough I soon realized there was no seat to be found on the train. Great, two hours to Qingdao and I get the aisle. Okay truth be told I had a second option, smoker ally between cars. I figured relatively smoke free air standing in the aisle getting hit with a food trolley every 15min was better. I found a bench to rest against, turned on my kindle, put in my head phones and zoned out as best as possible. I did notice the decent looking guy standing next to me but kept my scowl to myself as the the trolley and I danced each time it past.

An hour into the ride a kind gentleman offered and held his seat for me when he disembarked. The guy who had been standing next to me soon found a seat across the aisle. He leaned over and began asking about my Kindle. His English was definitely not the best I’ve encountered but he was nice, okay sweet. The fact he said he read Plato gave him major points. Before I knew it he was asking me to coffee. I didn’t know what to say so I tried to mumble under my breath, as his English was not great he  took it as an affirmative and started suggesting places.

I figured I would lose him once I got to the station, but he helped get my backpack off the rack and insisted on carrying it for me. (It was only after did I realize how bad that could have gone if he had decided to run, Passport and Y2,000 bad.) Him having my bag and all I decided not to lose him. We caught the 304, he insisted on paying my fare, and headed into town. We decided on Coffee Spark as it was located on both our bus routes. On the bus he began helping me with Chinese. A few points in his favor. One, his is one of the first Chinese people who have actually wanted to help me learn Chinese rather than just wanting to speak and learn English. Two, when teaching me Chinese he actually spoke slowly and clearly, repeating words often, wow what a concept when teaching someone a language. (In China like many places people often think it is the volume that makes foreign words magically become understandable.) Lastly, he encouraged learning Chinese Characters as he feels it is a vital component of learning Chinese.

Now before you flip out and think I’ve completely lost my senses, I did text Victoria and let her know the change in plans. I also asked for a bailout call come 8:15 if wasn’t on the bus to the University yet. My Chinese lesson was going so well we missed our stop, but he had a contingency plan apparently. He quickly suggested another place that was just two stops further. We went to Starbucks and I ordered a Hot Chocolate, after a brief argument over the bill he said something curt in Mandarin to the cashier and she refused to take my money. He ordered two and found a table.

We sat and conversed for about 45min before I had to head out. Between his minimal English and my non-existent Chinese I was surprised the conversation lasted as long as it did. It did come to an interesting point when I finally asked for his name. Okay yes one would think before we got to Starbucks names would have been established but in China names are just tricky. Family names go first, then first name. To top it off you refer to new acquaintances by their family name. His name is Hu pronounced ‘who’. When he asked for mine I of course gave him Kayte, he was a little taken back and asked if he should call me Miss. That was a definite NO! Names got squared away and numbers exchanged. I was soon on my way to Victoria’s before the designated bailout time.

Overall the evening was fun. Most definitely not a usual evening for me but if China has taught me one thing it is taken every opportunity thrown at you.

So back to the original question, if he asked, escorted to and paid for everything was it considered a date? If so I guess I just went on my first Chinese date. Oh and for all those wondering he is barely my height but hey he’s not shorter!

The center of life!

 After dinner I was shown to my kang in the adjoining room. One thing I’ve learned the Chinese pull out the red carpet for foreigners. I felt truly guilty when I realized they had given me the large Kang in the Master Bedroom, all to myself no less. There were no heaters in the house so I went to bed in thermals skeptical of the kang’s ability to keep me warm. Wrong decision! I soon learned the errors of my ways as I began stripping layers, then I was glad no one else was in bed with me as I eventually got down to my skivvies and still had to throw the blanket off at times. Holy smokes who knew!

Full Squid, hummm, did I really say that was the great dish?

 Friday morning I woke at 8 and entertained myself until I heard Wendy get up in the adjoining room.  Breakfast was leftovers from dinner and a larger dish of what I had commented on the night before. My bad, it was squid. Okay I hate squid unless it is battered and deep-fried and smothered in a cocktail sauce but I had to admit last nights did taste good surprisingly. But now it was the full squid not just strips.

Peter's Junior High

There is just no way to describe the loss of feeling when you finish this one.

Who said Exercising couldn't be entertaining?

That was a good stretch.

On to the Open Air Village Market. I was the only foreigner obviously and mostly likely the only to have ventured there. I was shocked when I few asked if I was Peter’s wife. Did not see that one coming. We finally just stuck with Wendy’s little sister, Can’t you see the resemblance?

Village Outdoor Market

A relative of Peter's, he gave me two free Candied Hawthorn sticks.

Oh no, please don't, oh great Peter just bought that for lunch. Umm do I have to I mean really what is it?? Oh just Pupas well in that case of course.

Then a quick spin to the beach, on the way we stopped at Shandong International College. The campus was dead.

Shandong International College

Can we say a little Europe in Shandong?

 

This was a random building on the campus. We never did find out what it was for but it just seemed so out of place.

Wendy says this place is packed in the summer.

I'm going to miss these two!

Sea farming

Are engines damaged when they get water logged?

Everyone does it! "Happiness to China"

Peter has quite the arm.

Collecting shells, I collected shells, Peter collected rocks and Wendy just shook her head asking what we planned on doing with them.

 

Beach homes of the rich.

We soon headed back for lunch, which I must admit I was not looking forward to as I knew the menu!

Don't these just scream yummm? Yeah I didn't think so either.

I'll try anything once, the second time is optional.

Pupas are Peter’s favorites it turns out so I turned to him for eating tips, wrong idea should have just waited for his dad. I tried Peter’s way first, pop the whole thing in you mouth and chew don’t swallow the casing just the creamy inside. After a few that way, yes I had a few, his dad came in a insisted his method was better, I have to agree with his dad. Pull off the end and using your teeth to squeeze/suck the filling out. I think I had about six although Lao lao didn’t think that was enough. I never could bring myself to eat the heat sack on the inside it was hard, after the gooy insides I just couldn’t bring my self to chew something crunchy.

Lunch with the family

Friday evening I watched “The Founding of the Republic” the Chinese film about the birth of China. It was on television and had English subtitles, surprisingly good subtitles to boot. I was also surprised at the sypathetic way in which Chang Kai Shek was portrayed throughout the film.

Saturday was colder than Friday so we remained in doors most of the morning. I took the time to study Chinese with Wendy.  A’yi and Lao lao made fish dumplings for lunch which were to die for.

A'yi and Lao lao making dumplings, yumm Now there's a wok.

After lunch I asked if I could take a walk around the village, Peter volunteered to give me a tour. It was fun just walking and looking but the guided tour made it amazing. He showed us all his old haunts and favorite spots.

Main Street

Peter's home village. Looking down Peter's street back to the Main Street.

 

Peter and his childhood home. His home is at the end of the lane.

Side Street

Nothing like a good game of "Arrows & Bows" Peter's favorite growing up.

The boundary between villages, crossing over

The villiage across the river - This is where Peter attended Elementary school.

Before garages where needed this was the original parking space.

This is a piece that has been up since Peter's childhood days, I'm guessing the original from the 50's. Where is Mao?

Exploring the villiage in the late afternoon was picturesque, now if I could only learn to capture that.

The family garden.

Saturday evening I watch one of Wendy’s favorite films, a good Chinese Spy movie. When I discussed the plot with Victoria upon my return boy did she have a good laugh at the historical inaccuracies of the aligencies portrayed in the film. It was intriguing and the subtitles were dencent. If you haven’t caught on by now the quality of the subtitles is something of a running debate in China. There is no point in commenting on the quality of the film, I mean what do you expect from bootlegged copies. But really are subtitles suppose to be legit no matter the picture quality?

 

Sunday Morning A’yi and Lao lao woke early to make a fresh batch of dumplings in China it is a tradition to serve dumplings prior to a departure as a sign of good luck. The dumplings resemble little boats and the attached saying is equivelent to “Smooth sailing”.

Sunday's farewell breakfast. Traditional dumpling sendoff.

You enter into a courtyard and rooms are situated along the right and back walls. The front walls are storage and pig pens there is only the outhouse along the left wall and a staircase to the roof.

 

 

Feeding the Kang

 

* The Kang is heated from outside. Corn husks are dried and stored all winter to feed the fires lit beneath the stone beds.

 

 

 

 

or should I say Macgyver DVD player

Katie and Thomas came over for lunch and Thomas began tinkering with my DVD player as he promised. It had broken a few months ago and since I so generously got a screwdriver for  Christmas he promised to take a look at it for me.

Here’s what I had to begin with:

1 DVD player with a power problem

1 DVD player that just didn’t work

1 DVD player with a driver problem

and 2  kind friends who had an abundance of patience and apparently a free afternoon.

So as I slaved away giving finals in my office listening to stuttering English Katie and Thomas slaved away in the living room operating like two experienced surgeons. Between finals I snuck a look and wide eyed I tried to take in the scene before me. Three disassembled DVD players with neat piles of screws, cables and fuses.

The Beginning

In the end a miracle was accomplished and a rather unorthodox player was born. So now lets go through the steps.

1. Remove top cover

2. Remove magnetic disc centering holding bar

3.Insert desire disc for viewing pleasure

At least it works.

4.Replace magnetic disc centering holding bar, making sure sides are flush with base, and the magnet is unobstructedly engaged with sub magnet.

5. Press the close button to engage the driver making sure Step 4 was completed properly without an unidentifiable rattling noise accompanying the spinning.  (the loading dock is not functioning but this step is necessary to trick the player into loading the inserted DVD)

6. Replace cover. (to prevent a second layer of dust settling on the inside although it might seem pointless after the layer of dust that accumulated while completing steps 1-5)

7. Pray the TV is on the right channel or take another 10min figureing out which key to hit on the Chinese remote!

8. Enjoy your film, while keeping your fingers crossed, that none of the parts shift as they are no longer mounted in place.

My schedule has final began to open up! As I no longer have Monday classes I decided to take advantage and stay in Qingdao for an extended weekend. Bonnie works weekends and has never been able to join us in Qingdao for fun or shopping. So when my Monday’s opened up I promptly invited her along. I wanted to get all my gift shopping done and invited her to join me at JiMo!

How can it be so cold when it is this sunny? Will someone please explain this to me!

I met Bonnie at the train station at 9 and the day began!  We stopped by the beach for a quick walk.

Bonnie got some pictures of locals taking a morning dip. It must have been at least 8* outside, luckily the wind was dead that day. But all the same there they were in speedos and bathing suits plunging into the water and doing laps. I will never understand the Chinese and their health. It just seems so contradictory if you ask me. Freezing water = Good health, nope just don’t see it.

Off to JiMo it was. Ms Jane met us there to help with the pearl shopping. I’m learning quite a lot from the Pearl Expert Ms Jane. There are two stalls we go to, Nina who does only top quality original pieces and then the less expensive woman on the corner for earrings and play pearls.

Here are my spoils, this is just the beginning. Even after all my purchases I don’t come close to the other gals. We joke that Ms. Jane single handily keeps the JiMo pearl Market open, but it is probably true!

a Nina original my big splurge to remember Qingdao.

I should never have tried this one on. Once I did I was a goner. I fell in love and well I’ve learned my lesson.

This is my Qingdao piece and it is an original, my first original piece of Jewelry, I’d better be careful I’m getting too use to tailors and personal jewelers, haha.

Choker pearls!

Also from Nina a set of Choker pearls.

The pearls here are all freshwater pearls and with Jane selecting top quality specimens.

Rope pearls!

From the corner counter I got a 50 inch strand. Oh so much fun. I just love the sound of pearls.

Side note: to test if a pearl is real you rub it against your teeth, if it is gritty in texture it is real.

Dinosaur Egg pearls

The irregular pearls are just as intriguing to me. I’ve dubbed these Dinosaur Egg pearls, they are not quite Baroque.

I love the metallic blues and lavenders.

These of course are just the splurges for me, I don’t want to spoil gifts for others. I differently supported the Pearl Market, probably paid for the days electricity.

On to scrolls. I have fallen in love with Chinese Scrolls. It took some hunting but we did it. A shop in the bottom basement in the back. I saw the seasons set and just fell in love. The Chinese love the Seasons Series and I love the monochromatic landscape.

Winter

Spring

Summer

Autumn

Mounted on Silk

Who exactly is this directed at if it is translated into English?

I’ve been to Qingdao countless times yet I always see the same thing: Train Station, Bus 304, University, Church, Bus 5, Jimo, Bus 202.

Since we had arrived on Friday for Christmas we decided to take advantage of a full Saturday. After a restful night surprisingly at the Hostel, we took the bus to the University and met up with Victoria for my favorite and day at a museum!

Victoria had already been and gave great reviews, she warned it was a provincial museum so don’t get lofty expectations she said but she had been presently surprised. For a provincial museum it blew my socks off.

It was huge from the outside but that is the Chinese way, empress with shear size to compensate for quality.

I must admit I was impressed with the translation someone who actually studied English seemed to have translated.

Wouldn't be a real museum without a controversial piece or two. These are Japanese and still claimed by them from what I was able to gather.

Chinese also love their dioramas. This one depicts a historical battle victory in which the besieged city tied bayonets to the herds horns and lit their tails on fire. Letting the rampaging beasts lose on the surrounding army.

It was such a pleasure going through the museum with fellow Art History buffs - Katie and Victoria.

I was quite impressed with their selection of artifacts.

There was also the history section which had the life size dioramas, just couldn't resist the photo op.

Of course the end of the museum had the triumphant liberation of China and the birth of Modern China.

Thomas wandered into a side exhibit that turned out to be a print making center. We all did our Chinese zodiac.

Christmas Day…humm…lets just say it was an adventure.

My first Christmas waking up to an empty house. I didn’t want to get out of bed as there just didn’t seem like any point. The usual hustle and bustle of Christmas morning was not there nor did I have the pleasure of looking forward to it. I finally dragged myself out of bed and over to the computer excited for my Christmas call home. I finally made it through but to my disappointment, as it was still Christmas Eve in the States, everyone seemed busy and some where not even home to chat. I did an unusually short call with and become rather childishly disgruntled by the whole thing.

I finally just turned my attention to the afternoon and weekend in Qingdao! One frustration of living alone is the fact that I have to remember to prepare the house for a trip. Mom thank you for all you do! I hate coming home to a dirty house which means the morning before a trip the usual list includes: laundry, dishes, trash, sweep, organize and close and lock up.

Christmas morning!

A few students dropped by to give me Christmas cards and Wendy dropped off a gift. I sat down and try to recreate a little Christmas opening my gift and reading cards. By 11 I was headed out the door to meet up with the  Gang at the train station.

Katie and Thomas invited a new friend along to join our foreign group for Christmas, no one should spend Christmas alone. The train was crowded as usual. The plan was to have a big familial Christmas dinner then hand out blankets to the homeless. [Last Christmas Victoria had experienced her coldest day in China and was horrified to see homeless people sleeping on the streets under nothing but a sheet of plastic. This year she vowed to correct this and purchased blankets to hand out to the homeless. We Weifangians were happy to help deliver the purchased blankets.]

Americans and Canadians

We arrived and headed to THE DINER for Christmas dinner. We were a merry party! There were about 28 of us in all, and the table next to us was all foreigners too! You felt like you were back in the states. It was interesting to be able to eavesdrop again, to be fair both tables were doing it because we were commenting on each other’s conversations. THE DINER had a wonderfully scrumptious Christmas menu but it was just out of my price range so I settled on a lamb sandwich. Not as good as their steak sandwich but NOT Chinese in the least so I’ll take it. Some days I just don’t want Chinese, Christmas is one of them.

After dinner the hostel hunt began. Thank heaven for Katie and her prepared self or we would have being sleeping on the sidewalk accepting blankets from Victoria. This Christmas was the coldest day in Qingdao and it even beat out last Christmas Victoria said. The BYU teachers headed back to the university and told us they would call when they were going to head out to deliver blankets. The Walk: we decided to forgo the bus and just go for a cab wrong idea. There was no cabs to be found and we were forced to keep walking to keep warm we finally ducked into a hotel and asked the door man to find us a cab. We soon realized we had headed in the opposite direction of the hostel. The doorman returned empty handed explaining there were just no cabs to be found on a night such as this! Oh just keep piling on the frustrations. We were all froze and our brief stay in the hotel lobby only seem to half thaw us. Working from a small google map we found a bus that would take us west and hoped for the best. We got off hoping the map was spacial correct, wrong again. After what seemed like eternity in the cold we found the hostel at the top of a hill. Katie had been unable to book a hostel online due to technical difficulties on the website, “Welcome to China”. Big Brother Hostel’s, yes no lie on the name, dorms were all booked and they only had a 4 person room at 200Y. That is hotel prices by the way and no way were we going to pay hotel prices for hostel accommodations. By the way the dorms had been 25Y so you understand our hesitation here.  Prepared Katie had a back up plan, we ventured out into the cold and by some miracle were able to find a cab within 5min. Mind you we were a double fare but hey we were out of the cold and sardines are toasty when they are packed together. I don’t know if the first passenger was fully aware of what he agreed to when the taxi driver accepted us. Somehow we were able to cram 6 people and all our luggage and bedding into a small cab not using the trunk.

Hostel Lobby

We finally made it to the next hostel when I realized I didn’t have everything that I needed to check in. At that point we were near the train station and I just figured I would catch a train back to Weifang if I had to. The Receptionist was kind enough to let me slide with numbers and a Driver’s License. She was even kind enough to give us member prices and we settled in for the evening. Victoria called and said there were no homeless people out so we would not be venturing out either. We dropped off the bags and headed down to the lobby to chat.

All decked out for Christmas

Okay this is were I go off on hostels! I LOVED THIS PLACE. The rooms were clean and warm once the heater got going, the lobby was phenomenal and the help well I don’t have enough glowing words in my vocabulary to cover how amazing they were. Their English was excellent (boy does that sound snobby) and they were extremely accommodating. We threw ourselves into the center lounging area and were soon joined by a British guy who had been sitting at the other end.

His name was Lew, he took a hiatus from school to study Martial Arts for a year in China. He is a drama major with a growing resume. We all had a lovely chat for the rest of the evening. It is always nice when you can sit and have a stimulating conversation at a normal speed with a normal vocabulary, excepting of course the occasional translation hiccups between British and English. We turned in around 11.

Christmas was an adventure or to be more honest was one adventure after another. But the company and accommodations at the end made it all worth it!

I woke this morning with mixed emotions. I had plans so was not completely saddened by the lack of family but knew nothing is near a real substitute.

A Christmas Apple

I had only one class which was my favorite so all the better. My class gave me the Chinese traditional apple. Apparently that is the big Christmas

 tradition here. The apple is suppose to symbolize peace. Two of my boys gave me Christmas cards and one girl wrote me a letter.

I’m not going to lie I was a little saddened that the only Christmas cards I received were from Chinese students. Really not even an email?

Quite a varied selection! Homemade to classic.

I’ve never been one to display cards but I’m quite proud of my Chinese Christmas cards so they are now up!

After class I went to Katie and Thomas’s to finish up the Christmas presents for the Qingdao group. I don’t want to ruin the surprise but I’m way excited to give them. Katie and Thomas’s apartment was decked out for the holidays and as usual Katie was baking so pumpkin spice filled the air. Ohh the goodie filled packages, she always kindly shares the spoils.

The fireplace above the radiator, classic!

The chef herself, Pumpkin bread, yum.

Next year I'm going to buy a Christmas tree I actually missed not having one.

June - Katie and Thomas's Chinese tutor

Thomas wasn’t about to let Christmas Eve deter him from  his Chinese study. June was they were all kind enough to let me join in on the lesson which I found very enlightening. Turns out I’ve been saying xue 学 wrong this entire time. Well better late than never.

June was also kind enough to walk me through the ticket process for the train tickets I had to get later. I was hoping to have Wendy write it all out for me but she was unable to meet me for lunch.

I left Katie’s around 5 and headed to the train station to pick up tickets for our Qingdao trip. I was so proud of myself I did it all by my self with no Chinese note. For the most part he got it I think although he didn’t let me finish my speech, he just motioned for the train number which I had written down. So now I the official ticket getter for Sundays since the train station is just up the street from me.

At 7:00 Shiggy (Japanese teacher) and I met up with Bonnie and Ferd at the Weifang Family Restaurant. We had a delicious Chinese dinner. My favorites were Egg plant of course, caramelized sweet potatoes and the cold wasabi chicken. I have to admit I’ve come to love Chinese.

After dinner we all went out to meet to the local hangout hoping to run into some other foreigners. Boy did we ever. So I met 6 more Canadians, 2 more Americans,  Jimmy the French teacher was there along with a few Ukrainians. We all exchanged numbers and had a fun filled evening. Shiggy and I stayed out until about 12pm.

I know horrible quality but just couldn't leave it out.

So while out for the evening the waiter brought us a box of sparklers  which everyone proceeded to light and wave around like crazy. Both Bonnie and I had a good laugh about the excess precautions we are taught as kids when lighting sparklers. Boy do the Chinese break all those rules.

Bonnie ran into some old acquaintances and they gave both of us all each an apple. We also received a toy key chain.

Out with Bonnie!

The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
  – Alan Patrick Herbert

I have to admit the google quotes of the day are always the first thing I read when I log on in the evening. (It changes midnight US time which is evening for me). Today’s quote just sent me rolling. I would just like to know who picks them and where in the world do they get them.

Who is Alan Patrick Herbert you might ask…well according to Wikipedia…

Sir Alan Patrick Herbert, CH (usually writing as A. P. Herbert or A. P. H.) (24 September 1890 – 11 November 1971) was an English humorist, novelist, playwright and law reform activist. He was Member of Parliament for Oxford University for 15 years, five of which he combined with service in the Royal Navy.

I will just have to add this one to my quote book. Yes, I’m a complete nerd and have a quote book. To top that off, it is a scrapbooked quote book.